Friday, September 9, 2011
Introducing Myself
Hi, my name is Anthonie and I go to Alameda high I play sports for the school like football and baseball I am a very good athlete I think myself personally but other people might think different from me but its ok im going to still do my best. I have been playing football since I was 4 years old so I am an veteran at what I do on the field and in the classroom. And I love video games in my spare time I could just sit up there and play the game all night long if I have the chance or if I have a free weekend and also hang out with friends so don’t think I am an loner in my life I have alot of friends. I love to go out of state with the family when we have enough money to leave state we just go play in the snow and have fun like normal families should do its just real fun to me I just have a Ball going out of state but when I do come back I be mad and bored as heck mad and wanting to go back I think it’s were I belong I belong in the snow but we all can’t have what we want in life if we did we all will be rich. About me I am just a quiet person I do not speak at all when Im around people I don’t know so that’s who I am.
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Where specifically do you go with your family to visit the snow? I grew up in a pretty wintry place but once I came to California the weather out here turned me into a softy in just a matter of weeks. Now even winters out HERE bug me. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteSo here's the first thing I want to talk about with your writing: sentences! There are lots of sentences put together here with no punctuation between them, which makes them harder to read. If it's easiest for you to write a rough draft out like this and then go back and break down the sentences afterwards, that's fine. Ask me if you need help with this and we can work on where/how to break 'em up.